60 Ways To Tell If You're Obsessed With David Bowie...
1. you look at a wall in a music store & divide it into people who were influences on Bowie, people who were influenced by Bowie, & people who worked with Bowie

2. you sort out your CD collection based on ties to Bowie

3. you find yourself imitating Bowie's stage moves in the shower (especially the "Johnny wants pussy in cars" crotch grab)

4. you look at a US map & identify cities with which albums were recorded there

5. you conciously try to smoke your ciggies just like He does

6. you start smoking because he does

7. you buy albums you already have because it's a different version with one extra track or one alternate version, or different cover art

8. out of the three disc slots in your stereo, at least two always have Bowie discs in them

9. you consider buying the Springsteen tribute album for for 1 Bowie track

10. you own a couple dozen 70's LPs despite the fact that you don't have a record player

11. you have a Bowie poster at the foot of your bed so he's the first thing you see every morning

12. your answering machine message has more than three lyric quotes

13. people come running up to you to tell you they saw a Bowie video the previous week on MTV

14. you have a special folder in your bookmarks (or favorites) list labeled "Bowie"

15. EVERYTHING reminds you of a lyric

16. BowieNet or Teenage Wildlife is your start page for your web browser

17. someone says "Bowie" & all your friends look at you

18. you smack around anyone who makes a Vanilla Ice comment when Under Pressure comes on

19. you actually made a sidetrip to Bowie, Texas just to say you'd been there

20. you use Bowie as an excuse for not doing your homework and your teacher believes you

21. when you only use your laserdisc player to still-frame the "special scene" in Man who Fell to Earth

22. you took the 'mookid loves Bowie' quiz (on links page) and passed with flying colours

23. you'd rather continue reading this than take care of "nature's call"

24. you bake David a cake each year on his birthday in his honour

25. your primary concern when making a long trip is that you'll be away from the 'net too long and will miss the Bowie news and your friends in #Bowie

26. when someone asks you if you like Bowie you just cant find the words

27. you are almost afraid to say "Bowie" 'cause your friends will yell at you

28. you somehow manage to steer every conversation toward Bowie, despite the original topic

29. every once in awhile you'll search the web for more Bowie stuff, knowing full well you've seen it all

30. the guys at Sandys records know you as 'the Bowie girl' and hold Bowie stuff for you

31. you desperately hope that someday soon you'll have enough cash to buy something from bowieart.com

32. your signifigant other volunteers this plan to get rich: "Well, you marry Bowie, divorce him, and we'll live on the alimony payments!"

33. you've thought of trading in (non-Bowie) cds just to buy more Bowie and perhaps some bowieart

34. extra points if you actually HAVE traded in discs you liked just to buy more Bowie

35. you have the same Bowie albums on CD and cassette & see no need to get rid of either

36. you have more than ten distinct versions of Space Oddity.....and can tell them all apart by the first 15 seconds

37. you bought a diskman just to listen to Bowie in the 10 minutes you have walking between classes

38. every time you start typing a word that starts with "b" you accidentally start typing "Bowie" instead...

39. you've converted a non-Bowie-adoring signifigant other into a Bowie fan through sheer will

40. you've loaned out your copies of "the basics" countless times in attempts to gain new followers

41. you can suggest a Bowie cd to someone upon just meeting them, and after loaning it to them they like it a lot

42. you run up and snog complete strangers, simply because they are wearing a Bowie t-shirt

43. you hire 'Twin Peaks - Fire walk with me' just for the 30 secs David appears in it

44. when your friend gets a Bowie CD from the library and can't remember the name, you have them tell you the colors on the cover and you correctly ID it.

45. the biggest dilemma you face at night is which disc of the Eno trilogy you are going to sleep to

46. you do your very best to dress and act like Bowie-- and you're a girl.

47. your personal homepage opens with Bowie lyrics, even though the page has nothing to do with Bowie at all

48. you make a David Bowie web page

49. you watch an entire hour-long biography on Bowie & don't learn anything new

50. you can't bring yourself not to capitalize "Bowie" even though you don't capitalize "i"

51. you avoid using the word "Bowie" as the header for a page because it's the only capitalized word, and looks silly

52.when the only two music videos you've ever edited together are to Bowie songs

53. You see a Bowie album on vinyl and you immediately purchase it even if you aready have it on CD and cassette

54. the only dream you can remember in four years is the one involving Bowie, a canopy bed, silk scarves and chocolate dipped strawberries

55. it really bothers you when Bowie forgets a lyric in a live show or a bootleg studio rehearsal

56. people ask "Do you like David Bowie" & you just can't find the words

57. you buy the Criterion Man Who Fell to Earth laserdisc before you get a laserdisc player just in case it goes out of print before you can afford the player

58. you set off the fire alarm at work trying to duplicate a pose where Bowie is holding a lit cigarette

59. you throw rolled up socks at the TV everytime microsoft desecrates "Heroes"...

60. you can't focus on Kabuki theater cause everyone looks like Ziggy !!

The Labyrinth...
Labyrinth was released in theatres in 1986, and directed by none other than the late, great Jim Henson! It was also produced by George Lucas, creator of the "Star Wars" trilogy among other masterpieces. Add to this all-star pedigree a script by Terry Jones (of Monty Python) and conceptual/costume design by famed fantasy artist Brian Froud, and you have the makings of an exceptional and imaginative film! Even more importantly, Labyrinth's two main characters, feisty teen girl Sarah (Hmm, sounds a bit like...me!) and Jareth, the Goblin King, are brought to life by the brilliant acting of Jennifer Connelly and David Bowie.
Click below for the Labyrinth scipt!